Friday, October 12, 2012

Teaching in Lhomon



“Some come to laugh the past away, some come to make it just one more day, whichever way your pleasure tells, you plant ice you’re gonna harvest wind”
Happy Anniversary Tyler and Beth and Happy Birthday Bobby!  October 16

Part 1: October Ramble

Outside my door a gold star wobbles in orbit and the air is crisp. Yesterday in Yangtse I picked up some Bomdeling chilies for Karlos. They are beautiful specimens, a devilish assortment of red and green. Somehow I have grown to love the chili almost as much as kimchi. Like kimchi, chilies come in multiple varieties and vary by region. But kimchi is mild on the tongue compared to a Bhutanese chili. East Bhutan is famous for its local chilies and ara, a lethal combo. Sonam’s emadatsi is particularly delicious and Karlos made a raw chili salad that was a sensory delight. Wangmo and Zangmo carry them around drinking their firewater. Chilies come in all shapes and sizes and degrees of spiciness. My first night in Bhutan I almost slipped and cracked my head running for the toilet after my first emadatsi. The hottest emadatsi I’ve consumed was at Manu’s house in Kumdang prepared by her roommate Pema. That dish melted my face.
Today rain returned. Bhutan is the wettest place I have ever lived. The monsoon begins in spring and stays until winter. This accounts for the enormous cucumbers and marigolds. One traditional name for Bhutan was Lhomon, or land of Southern Darkness. This name is apt for the climate. The fun continues in the classroom as I slowly get to know the students as individual learners and people. They are very funny especially when they jabber at each other in Sharshop. Sharshop is hilarious sounding to the laymen with all sorts of animated gestures to accompany the loud words. I honestly can say they have improved in their writing which was a primary goal for the second term. They obviously make tons of mistakes but they can express themselves well which is paramount for an ESL learner. Working with large classes adds to the challenge of assessment and individual tutorials. I try to identify the common mistakes and engage the students with small group activities and individual participation. I still fall into the habit of talking too much and on occasion I can see their eyes glaze over. At these times I interject some humor too lively up the lesson. Each class has some real characters and staying on track is challenging. Overall the students are goodhearted which goes a long way in my book. Exams are zooming nearer and this will be a busy month. I have basically completed the syllabus and am gearing up for review. We will play some trivia games involving the material in small groups. Students have a gap in age and skills and I try to nurture the struggling student while challenging the toppers. It is difficult to differentiate for each learner. It’s been a remarkable experience educating these particular students. Since most of Bhutan’s population is under fifteen, this generation will make or break the nation. HM is depending on education to guide the Kingdom into modern times while preserving the culture and environment. Boarding schools are the paramount institution responsible for producing well rounded students.
I am only one of eighteen BCF teachers in the Kingdom. The only other Western teachers are scattered volunteers like Linda who teaches monks. Australia is placing a volunteer in Yangtse next year but the totality of teachers in Bhutan is scarce. All the English spoken in Bhutan has been filtered through India via the UK. My students generally have a thirst for conversational English but few have a hunger for reading. The library conundrum is a major obstacle. I never leveled off my learners and the selection of books are jumbled in the library. All I have to work with is the curriculum that is prescribed to me by the ministry. Some of the content is good and some is too difficult or irrelevant. When they connect content to their own real life experiences they write well. For instance when asked to write about their village life they produce positive results. But with lack of books and availability of T.V the youth is faced with streamlined language acquisition instead of interacting with their own imagination. My objective is to instill in my pupils the ability to think critically, independently, and work effectively in groups. Limited resources force the teacher to be creative. I am grateful for crayons for art projects and chart paper for KWL’s. Having kids perform and sing in class is great. Each student does have a textbook, notebook, and pen. At this point many of their notebooks are falling apart which make them a headache to correct. But these are all good lessons for a novice teacher who must rely on ingenuity and the student’s abilities to obtain success. In the classroom as in life, “there ain’t no easy answers, that’s all I’m trying to say”  

I had a nice day on campus but still seek the balance of classroom management.  My students feel relaxed but certain boys are prone to outbursts. Ironically most of my report cards remarked that I was talking out of turn in class. Generally the behavior is acceptable and moreover I like to have fun in class, striking the right mix is challenging. Social service club has dwindled to a few dedicated members and bunking is a problem. Usually less than half show up on any given week. I don’t have the inclination to chase bunkers down but rather work with the ones who care. It’s frustrating to purge an area and find it ruined a week later. We are left with a fairy tale landscape scattered with rubbish, and the characters don’t really care. The problem remains lack of trash cans but mostly just cultural attitude. Children emulate their parent’s behavior and are never properly educated. No one thinks twice of littering as an observer would notice strolling on the picturesque village drag. The natural beauty marred by trash present a strange paradox.  I have to step up my efforts and be more diligent in my methods to make any change.  This problem will surely outlast my short time in Bhutan. In the meantime living on the Tsenkharla ridge reminds me of Guru Rinpoche’s copper mountain heaven, except I don’t have two beautiful consorts from India and Tibet. Imagine a bachelor Guru Rinpoche or a descendent of Prince Tsangma coming back to the castle. I remain healthy even though my classroom resembles a Czars clinic with half the students in masks. My diet is simple and unhealthy and then there is my Coca Cola addiction. I know what you’re thinking this would be the right time to quit. I need to learn more dishes but am faced with different ingredients or lack of ingredients. However, one cool thing in Bhutan is the ceiling for improvement is unlimited. 
I wandered into the cypress grove where the ferns are burnt brown. The trail was overgrown with flowering bushes, cobwebs and fallen trees. I stopped at one of my favorite rocks overlooking the valley and inspected its pink lichen letting my mind drift to other groves on other Octobers.

Part 2: Thursday Night Circus

“You must really consider the circus, well it just might be your kind of zoo, I can’t think of a place that’s more perfect, for a person as perfect as you”

At interval my brother calls to give me play by play of the A’s game. I know the Yanks are locked in a battle with Baltimore. Andy lost his game 3-2. From the box score I recreate the drama in my head but it’s not the same. I miss the rapture of post season baseball, the images of players pacing the dugout and the worried look of anxious fans in the stands. I miss America! My life has taken an odd turn as I toil at my craft in the Orient. What am I doing here? Fulfilling a dream or running away from reality?  Sometimes I feel out of context like a ghost rattling his chains. The mountains turn an olive tone somewhere between green and brown. Earthy hues sprawl in a limitless horizon radiating out from my position atop Tsenkharla ridge. I wish I had someone to share it with. But we are all alone on our own ridges and mountaintops. We build bridges between one another stretching over the dark abyss, trying to reconcile with existence. One thing is for certain, life is tentative and fleeting. On my walks in the woods I contemplate my attachments. I love my family and those who helped me arrive at this moment, watching ravens glide and listening to the din of the bell on the prayer wheel.  The faces of those I love blur into the gaping landscape and fond memories scatter like threads of a prayer flag carried into the atmosphere, until I am only left with here and now. 

Today’s hike featured a one hundred and eight ring circus of clouds, starring Puff the Magic Dragon. The ridges popped, sharply defined like boulders under Sand Harbor water. In Bhutan the people live in harmony with the land where Americans wash themselves in blood stained rivers. Our enormous cities built on Native American graveyards. In the Eastern Himalaya Its hard living, do not tempt the dragon or it will eat you. What are the effects of isolation on the psyche? Some grow stronger or assimilate where others go mad. It’s itchy dirty and scary! Listening to the student’s drone of prayers I wonder where I am and how different I am. My gut sends longing messages to my brain requesting a steak burrito with guacamole. It settles for a coke while cockroaches encroach on my turf and poor Becky shares her dwelling with a rat. WTDL in the LOT/TOL! BLAH BLAH BLAH…My soul is wrapped in natural wonderment but my ambiguous tribe is far away. They are anonymous freaks assembled at a dancehall in anywhere USA, a coterie of fair maidens with sumptuous braids, fuzzy boots, and stirrups. There perspiration reeks of forbidden pie as they squeal for the womp in the wee hours, an orgy of Americana and unsurpassed beauty. Chrome spiked bunnies with tramp stamps, drunk on ecstasy flitter their pierced tongues in flickering light; their Sexy cochlea’s diddled by the bass.  Presently the Thursday Night Circus rolls in my hut with your dear author playing air guitar on his broomstick.

Part 3: Keep Your Nose to the Grindstone

“Let’s drink to the hard working people, let’s drink to the salt of the earth” Zeke

On campus marigolds shelter the grinding stone, the iconic rock of old Rangthangwoon. These days I forget about the huge stone and what it means to me. When I first arrived I would touch the stone every morning to remind myself of my responsibility. I never forget to notice the row of gigantic cypress lining the main pathway. They are the treasure of Tsenkharla. From above our campus appears immerged in a forest.  It’s a heavenly compound and my favorite place on earth. If the tiger hibernates it is due to his workload. The next month will be a whirlwind of exams and marking. Exam time in Bhutan is a grind for teachers. Another bluebird day made for a stellar hike. Tsenkharla is at its peak of beauty. Amazing flowers adorn the grasslands and cows graze near golden rice patties clinging to the slopes. I roamed to the second ruin and watched the most amazing mountain sunset. A Meme sat in a field in tattered gho and barefoot bundling grasses. Evening rays turn the mountaintops copper. Sitting on a fat rock under the dilapidated ruin in dirty shirt and worn boots, I think “this is the life.”
 I have completed the syllabus and am reviewing essay writing. I am about to enter the county of procrastination regarding making the exams. I was pleased at Kesang’s improvement from the beginning of the year. She has been locked into the lessons and participating in class. Kesang was so shy at first all she did is stick her tongue out at me.

My pal Becky loves to fall into the lama jams at pujas with elongated horns and robust drums. Phongmay is prime puja country you see. I get off on the singing of prayers by the boarders. There is something about hundreds of voices in tune that is incomparable. They are transported to another place with faces reflecting the creator. In the last section I rambled on the unsurpassed beauty of a trance dance party. The worshipful harmony in the MP hall is equally beautiful. The boys sit on one side of the hall and the girls on the other all dressed in religious attire with butter lamps glowing. Their collective voices rise to heaven in the sweetest sound ever heard. This is when you feel Buddhism in the air intertwined with the cedar smoke burning in the outdoor hearth. The chanting overcomes the observer with an emotive power. Standing outside in the darkness under a starry sky I am happy to be a part of the community and appreciate a culture I will never truly be a part of. I can appreciate a fraction of what it means to be Bhutanese.  As a volunteer in the secretive Himalayan Buddhist Kingdom of Bhutan, one must never forget how fortunate we are to be here.        

Part 4: Eastern Exposure

“…I may be obliged to defend every love every ending, or maybe there’s no obligations now” Graceland

One of my favorite T.V shows of all time was “Northern Exposure.” The plotline is a Jewish Doctor from Queens is sent to a small Alaskan town to work off his loans. This neurotic protagonist has to assimilate in a rural setting, surrounded by quirky townsfolk. Obviously I can relate to Dr. Fleischman’s predicament. But I can also relate to Buck in “Call of the Wild.” As for you, thanks for tuning into another episode of “tiger.” I hope you are able to follow the plot as it plunges deeper into the woods. Interaction with students is where a teacher gets grounded. I find them far easier to communicate with then the adults. The youthful heart is universal. Time funnels into a heavy workload as we BCF’ers dig in to finish our year. It’s not time for summarizing yet but I can conclude it has been an interesting learning experience. The other night on the mobile phone I remarked to Becky that I wasn’t sure I have changed in Bhutan. But upon reflection I realize I have changed incrementally, like Blue Mountains walking to the sea.  Where has the time gone? In the blink of the eye I went from silver spoon to mid life crisis. But once you leave the path the world is your Chili. No rules or accountability except to my students. The name of the game is stay healthy, enjoy the moment. Offer your service to an amazing group of kids. Not a bad way to spend a day. Now if only the author can control his pendulum like mood swings he might be alright. Buddha’s middle path is out there somewhere. It is a trail with no pot of gold lurking at the end of the rainbow. But it reveals infinite moments and beauty along the way. Just watch out for the cobras and sooner or later we all coil at the source.   



Monday, October 8, 2012

Loving a country is like loving a person



Parchment Farm

“I’m sitting around here on Parchment Farm, place is loaded with rustic charm”

Autumn is a beautiful season in Bhutan. The forest is blooming with pink, purple, and white flowers. The sloping fields are turning chartreuse and a crisp breeze rattles the brittle maize stalks. Tsenkharla was buzzing today with swarms of honey bees and multiple unkind of raven. I have never seen so many at once as they are roosting in the row of mighty cypress on campus and taking to the skies in impressive aeronautic formations by the hundreds. My favorite sound is the sharp whooshing of air beating beneath black wings. The stately eagle might soar but the flight of a raven is paramount. The temperature is dropping at night and rain is always part of the forecast. Today I went roaming to the west and met some interesting characters on the trail. One young woman lost her shit laughing at me, rolling around in the canal with her friend. She didn’t speak a word of English but thought I was hilarious. In the middle of the forest it’s not uncommon to see “Day Scholars” on their way home. Today the sun warmed my face and I let my soul absorb every scrap of light. I never tire of these valleys and the 360 degree horizon. If loving a country is like loving a person, I am falling head over heels for this landscape. The kids aren’t so bad either. I am getting to know my students in and out of the academic setting better each day. This is making the job more rewarding and enjoyable. Bhutan has changed the way I see the world. My heart home is Northern California and the Pacific Northwest. Just in the last two years my geographical soul has manifested tenfold. I discovered Yellowstone and Bhutan. I realize that the earth is one astounding beautiful ball, most of which I will never see. For me this is why I love to travel even though I got a late start in life. But finding Bhutan is like coming home to a past life. I am still on the fringe of the culture but walking in the forest I have never been so at home.

To thrive in Bhutan you must embrace challenges and difficult situations. This is something I am not great at, which is one of the many reasons I landed here. Bhutan challenges all of my “issues.” This is no place for sloth, or self loathing. As a teacher I must be upbeat and diligent. Obviously I have a Masters in complaining and PHD in neurosis, but the author hopes to change his habits. The focus in Bhutan is simple, stay healthy and help the students. Most of my goals are wrapped up in facilitating the learning process and exploring the area. Despite hardships like lack of water or vegetables it is easy to make do. I make it harder than it needs to be and attitude dictates reality in this place. As one student told me “life is full of ups and downs” but they are easier to stomach in the wildness of East Bhutan. Observing the students fortitude and adaptability is inspirational. They are a special breed of children. Tough, tender, hilarious, and community minded. They don’t complain about walking in the rain three hours to and from school. They will not grow up to bitch like your author. Boarding School is a demanding and regimented institution. The bell rings at 5 AM to wake them up and their day is spent in a 16 hour routine. Prayer, cutting grass, eating, sleeping, studying, classes, and playing are all regulated by the chime of the bell. I can hear it ringing in the forest as I escape but they remain locked into the groove. They get homesick and bunk in refugee like quarters, as the government goes to tremendous effort to educate and shelter the young multitudes. The future leaders of Bhutan are sacked out in hostels around the kingdom tonight, (some two to a bed). The students love to laugh, draw, dance, and sing and have earned my respect. My class is a place for them to blow off steam on occasion. The students have earned my respect and I hope I have earned theirs.


Although I get frustrated with the process I realize that overall their English skills are good for ESL learners who speak several languages a piece. Since all subjects are taught in English it is important to bolster their skills in the four sacred domains of speaking, listening, reading, and writing. Since these students parents from are often illiterate, the future is promising. Each generation should improve exponentially in English. The third King brought Bhutan into the modern world partly by introducing English in schools. English is a powerful tool in Bhutan and I feel a heady responsibility teaching here. I am grateful that I don’t have more than 31 in my classes or it would be impossible to maintain assessment. It is already very difficult but with ingenuity can be done. Teaching is a noble profession anywhere in the world but I feel a particular charge at my post. At BCF I am humbled to be placed amongst dynamic and dedicated teachers. Some have been teaching in North America and around the world for years. Others are new and hungry to change the world. We hope to do this one pupil at a time. It’s a demanding and chaotic profession but the kids keep it eternally fresh and relevant. Even on a morning where I feel anxious and don’t want to slog up to assembly. It doesn’t take long before a smiling face or a student’s goofy antics snap me to attention. In the classroom we discover our sameness and differences but always bridge the gap with humor and hard work. Sometimes a lesson might bomb but each day brings new opportunity and the students are mostly willing to go along for the ride.
I hope that one day my students revere me like the former students of Nancy, Jamie, and Mark. Of course I am not here for accolades but the reason the aforementioned people are revered is because they influenced their students improving their lives. There is one man at Becky’s school who worships Nancy and she never even taught him. He is BCF’s #1 fan! BCF is reviving a long tradition of Canadian teachers in Bhutan. Now we have 18 Canadians, English, Australian, and American educators in the Kingdom.  WUSC, the original company lost funding twenty years ago leaving a gap of foreign volunteers in Bhutan. In 2010 the Bhutan Canada Foundation began placing certified teachers in the Kingdom. The 2013 group will be the fourth installment. Maybe some of these folks are tuned in to “tiger” waiting for final approval and placement. The approval process takes a long time and is good training for the real thing. Four hour meetings, landslides, cancelled classes, mandatory tea parties, and confusion. Many of these occurrences blossom into warm memories or memorable moments. And some are just an exercise in futility. Slowly we adapt and assimilate into the community, finding the people and pets that make us happy. For me it’s my students, neighbors, and Booty. Booty looks like a little leopard and keeps his coat impeccably clean and shiny. I dream of giving him a home at my mom’s someday. He even sat on my lap for twenty minutes tonight and deserves an easier life then his stray existence. There are likely more stray dogs then people in Bhutan. It’s a hard life for these cats and dogs.
The mountains dominate life in Bhutan. Even keeping the roads open is a constant upkeep. If one had a bird’s eye view of Bhutan it would seem an unbroken chain of mountains. West and South of Tsenkharla the ridges overlap towards Yangtse and T-Gang. To the East the massifs reveal a deep valley threaded by the Dagme Chu flowing from Arrunachal Pradesh. Tawang town is a few hours from the border at 10,000 feet the same elevation as Sakteng. The valley below me is at about 3,000 feet and my hut is around 6,000 feet. In Northern Yangtse the mountains tower on the border with Tibet but the highest peaks are in North and Central Bhutan, exceeding 25,000 feet.


Today I took my class seven out for some trash picking. We stuffed several bags full of trash and I am waiting to see how long before the village street is messy again. My student flung a plastic bottle into the forest right in front of me. It is an issue of engrained bad habits which I am trying to change. We are getting down to the wire to complete the syllabus before exams. I will be in the weeds soon frantically struggling to make the exam and crank them out on the archaic press. These exams must constitute 80% of their grade and must follow a prescribed format. And then there is the promise of Central Marking. The reader can refer to a June edition of “tiger” for those excruciating details. It’s hard not to get swept away in an ideal landscape of farmhouses, rushing rivers, boulders, forests, and clouds. Throw in some chortens and prayer flags and there you have it. Slowly the true magic spins out like the spider web in my doorway . It is paradise!        

Last Getaway

“Leaves are gonna bloom smelling sweet perfume, birds are gonna sing through the whole damn thing” Dave Malone

I hitched down to Doksom and crossed the river on a quarter mile Indiana Jones suspension bridge draped in rainbow prayer flags over the Dagme Chu. It was a scorching October morning as the trail wound through grasslands and chartreuse rice patties butted against a steep range. The clamshell peak had several vertical chutes covered in deciduous vegetation. After my jaunt into the wilderness I returned to Gom Kora to spin some wheels. On the road I was almost blown away by a dust devil before I commandeered a taxi and headed into Trashigang where I met Becky, Ashleigh, Vicky and Ian for tea and talk at the bakery. That night me and Becky visited the Dzong as usual and returned to the veranda for a fine meal. I had the chicken curry. After dinner we took tea with Phuntso and a man she simply called Engineer. I harassed our server Tswering who stuck her tongue out at me like an iguana.  The next day Becky and I set out on an adventure. We had once again abandoned our plan to reach Pema Gatshel instead hiring a taxi and heading into my neck of the woods. Our first stop was Gom Kora . The sky was powder blue with cotton clouds billowing over the ridges. The Kora was open and we slipped inside passed two fogies from Denmark. The interior boasted glossy wood floors and relics from Guru Rinpoche including an astounding collection of huge rocks. One rock resembled the testical of a stone giant. We even got souvenir tour posters that were sold by the monks that Stanley Mouse himself would have been impressed by. It was going to be an auspicious day in god’s furry pocket. We bolted through sleepy Doksom past the junction and into the jungle towards Yangtse. Each leaf and blade sparkled in an ostentatious display of photosynthesis. We rushed through pine forest and into primordial oaks wrapped in serpentine vines and climbing ivy watered by waterfalls. The foliage resembled tree monsters that were dancing together in celebration of the season.  
We reached Yangtse town and lunched at Crickets place. She was adorable as ever in her cropped haircut. After that Becky went to work by circumambulating Chorten Kora 21 times as I joined her for a few then rested on a bench amongst the overgrown sunflowers, and marigolds. The whitewashed Chorten was splattered against an electric blue sky as a mild breeze was carried by the Kulongchu. Even a postcard could not capture the perfection of the scene as it was a day torn right out of the guide book with the serene eyes of Buddha watching over the scene. In the golden afternoon light we moved on to the old Yangtse Dzong where things took a turn for the magical. The old Dzong was constructed by Pema Lingpa and company at the same time as Trashigang. The Dzong had no written plans and no nails were used in the miraculous architectural feat. The original Trashiyangtse Dzong is perched on a hillock at the nexus of an endless wilderness. Below the Dzong is a mighty Cypress that overlooks the river and verdant valley tucked into a smothering forest. This is the old trade route between Tibet and Bhutan and the Rodung La trek which connects Yangtse to Bumthang via Lhuntse. There are said to be many ghost in this remote part of Bhutan.  We breezed through the regal courtyard and into the ancient edifice. The cherry wood floors were exquisite and we ascended steep ladder stairs up several levels reaching an interior alter room. In that room we bumped into a group of monks accompanying the Trashigang governor and his compatriots. On display was a rare statue of the god of compassion with its thousand arms. We got a blessing of holy water from a chalice before leaving the sanctum. Once in the courtyard we preceded to the main Lhakang an eloquent room where we lit butter lamps. A young monk frantically searched for reserve lamps for the governor who was on our heels. The butter lamps we lit were earmarked for the distinguished guests but in this temple we all were treated with equal compassion, dignity, and grace. The sun plunged beneath the pine crest ridge illuminating a northern pinnacle in glittering gold. We hopped back in the taxi and made the run back to Trashigang in about two hours flat. That night we found a stairway to heaven and climbed into the upper reaches of the horseshoe valley above the town. A rare appearance of stars twinkled above the silhouetted trees and the Milky Way stretched across the Himalayan sky. But these stars seemed far away and out of reach. They vibrated in tiny frequencies from another universe or dimension like T.V’s flickering in roadside motel windows.  We couldn’t help ask ourselves if they really existed at all, or for that matter did we?  

Afterschool on Monday I wandered up to Zongdopelri where Rinchen Wangmo was harvesting rice in a bamboo sifter. It was the clearest day in Bhutan revealing two glacial peaks beyond Tawang. I have only glimpsed them twice before and couldn’t believe what I was seeing, two Himalayan toppers like diamonds eclipsed by my thumb. But there they were the throne of the gods, the far eastern link in the chain that stretches from Pakistan, Nepal, Tibet, Bhutan, to Arrunachal Pradesh. From my bonpo meadow the inner Himalaya sprawled in each direction with countless peaks, ridges, and slopes with every conceivable contour, the crown jewel, the dragon tail, the honeycomb and everything between. Flocks of ravens soared in the four directions in esoteric formations while prayer flags flapped in a crystal sky. It is god’s country if there is such a thing. 


Monk at Trashiyangtse Dzong, May

Meme AKA Becky's Mountain


Thursday, October 4, 2012

Fear and Loathing in East Bhutan


“He who
makes a beast
of
himself gets
rid of the pain
of
being a man”
Dr. Johnson

Part 1: The Lord of Death, the Girl with the Knife, Cabbage Patch Kids, and “The Terror of Life”

Hey Now Kids,

Suddenly I miss my family unbearably especially my precious niece and nephew.  Meanwhile the sun has broken out of hibernation as if on cue to shine upon the land. Last week we had our annual Tsechu at Shakshang Goemba. Shakshang is located an hour and a half up a steep vertical trail passing Zongdopelri and my bonpo meadow. The temple is perched high on a slope above Tsenkharla with views in all directions. Hundreds of Bhutanese and one felincpa ascended the mountain to honor Guru Rinpoche and wash away sin. The festival features amazing masked dances, gambling, and vending. In attendance were students, teachers, and villagers from around Yangtse Dzongkhag. I had lunch with our VP and hung around with my kids. Before the picnic Karma from class seven remarked that Mr. Tim only eats Coca Cola! Everyone was dressed in their finest embroidered gho and kira that were busted out for the special occasion. Despite being a developing country the people appeared from the pages of a fairy tale in an assortment of colors, patterns, and fine silk. This was the setting of “Hansel and Gretel” or “Wangmo and Zangmo.” Karma Om looked smoking hot in her rainbow roll kira chewing on a wad of dolma staining her teeth red. Never has a chick made spitting seem so sexy. The highlight of the afternoon was the masked dance depicting the judgment of souls in the bardo. The Lord of Death wore a techno colored robe with an enormous fierce red mask that was held in place on either side by two minions. The soundtrack was snarling horns and crashing symbols to which the male dancers swirled around in an epic dervish dawning assorted growling animal masks. Their gold skirts mushrooming while a toddler took aim with his toy gun. I was transfixed by the footwork of the barefoot monks whose twirling rivaled the spinning Wookies of the Oakland Coliseum hallway. All this action and sensory delight took place under a magnificent three story banner of Guru Rinpoche. The carnal scene reminded me of Arthurs coronation as I anticipated being stripped naked, smeared in blood, and whisked off to a cave to fornicate with my sister. At the end of the ceremony there was a stampede towards the banner and awaiting lama for a blessing poured from a brass chalice. The frantic rush was comparable to the NYE charge into the Big Top for the Rock N’ Roll Circus. Aren’t all cults the same after all! At the end of the day the grounds were covered in plastic wrappers and beer bottles.

For the last week we have been in blackout mode in East Bhutan throwing us back into mid evil times. Trashigang remained lit with all surrounding villages in the dark. While scanning the horizon a huge golden swath of light exploded in the sky above Trashigang. It was a scene right out of the conclusion of Ghostbusters, a demonized vortex probably the work of “Dust Particle’s. I give Sarah mad props for enduring four months with no power and no road, living the old school dream in the highlands of Gasa. I did enjoy revisiting ancient Bhutan but had no “tiger” music, phone, or light. To compound this we have had minimal water of late and when it arrives it comes out muddy. On the plus side the full moon has flooded the misty valley with silver light and the stars have made a rare appearance in the wee hours. Far out in the valley a lone light from outer Tawang twinkled like a candle. The stars here are not arranged in a thick curtain like Selma Oregon but scattered in peculiar glowing orbs in a newly formed universe. They sag in the inky sky like ornaments on a baby’s celestial mobile. The scene is velvet vibrations and eerie music swimming in nitrous oxide. A few hours later a Raven crows in predawn interrupting my dream about a tiger.

The weekend brought a kuru tournament in honor of Tsenkharla’s establishment in 1978. Kuru is a traditional game where men in ghos throw huge darts at a target fifty yards away. There is a lot of hooting and hollering and of course dancing. The game went on for twelve hours and when the champion was declared I was at Zongdopelri taking tea with Rinchen Wangmo. During tea Rinchen began breastfeeding her baby exposing her fleshy mound to the author. I tried not to stare but wondered how long it’s been since I had a pull on a juicy knocker.

Meanwhile the Christian calendar ticks towards the Mayan age of Enlightenment but I can’t imagine October without Yankee Baseball. Every year excluding 08 where we didn’t qualify I have been glued to the T.V. set. My last vivid memory was of Matsui’s two dingers in Game Six to clinch against those nasty Phillies in 09. Embedded in those memories of thrilling victories and excruciating defeats are family ties. Analyzing every pitching change with dad, bantering with bra, and explaining the finer points of the game over baked chicken with Rabes. Now I realize it never mattered so much if we won it all, but the journey that counted most. Baseball is life as they say. It all began with that miracle 96’ team in Jeets rookie season with Joe and Andy’s stare. I was a fucking flunkey, teenager, and virgin for Christ’s sake and now...I hope the Yanks win the dog fight pennant race and my dad can enjoy the World Series in Dunsmuir and Morgan can amble into a downtown bar to read the ballplayers auras, while Tyler bemoans what might have been. Maybe I can hit an auspicious grand slam and catch the action in T-Gang, Just a taste of the gig. As Ty says “sports are cruel,” but missing them is even crueler. Bra must be pumped on the A’s and 9ers return to glory.  Sports are what bind the Grossman men together and nothing more than October baseball. 
Back in the forest I wandered the drainage canal for several hours towards Yangtse into verdant oak forests. There is a lot of agriculture carved into the sheer slopes around my village. But eventually the farms subside to undisturbed fauna. On the Western front tangled oaks with the occasional banana tree, pine, or crystallized six foot cannabis bush. On the East side, purple flowers cascade over walls of ferns and gaping vistas of the Dagme Chu as it winds from Arrunachal towards Doksom. The trails go on forever and unchartered areas are waiting to be discovered. On the west side I ran into a lovely young woman clutching a machete. She spoke little English and had obviously never attended school. I ascertained that she was 19 years old. She lived in a mud hut and will spend her life as a farm girl. She nervously fingered her blade as I prattled at her in English. Eventually I ambled on leaving her relieved and at ease in her element.
I puttered around the village on Saturday then accompanied Karlos and Sonam to Sonam’s village above Kinney. We took a taxi but had to remove huge boulders from the newly constructed dirt road that hugs a cliff. I wasn’t much assistance with my broken arm and stood lookout for rockslides. The village is etched into a vertical slope adjacent to the huge massif that demarcates Bhutan from India. This wilderness is threaded with waterfalls cascading through deciduous forests with tiny settlements interspersed. Golden stalks of maize crackled in the fall breeze as we sat in a traditional mud and earth home taking lunch. Sonam’s parents are a kind couple who speak no English at all. Resting on their altar is a glazed human bone. Outside I questioned a village student if she knew Karma Om and at that precise moment Karma burst from the maize field. I ran and gave her a hug and peck on the cheek causing her to scream and throw me to the ground. With red streaked hair, blue jeans, and rock hard body she looked primed for a Tokyo disco rather than a rural cabbage patch. Upon leaving I carried a cabbage the size of a basketball the two hours home. I felt like a tribal headhunter from the Congo with my trophy. On the way my Bhutan belly avenged and I took a crap in the forest. Ah country living! 

So finally the power switched back on and I update “tiger” for my loyal fans. (Editor’s Note: The author has delusions of grandeur and should rarely be taken seriously.) Inside the classroom can be an academic calamity as I still search for my teacher’s voice. Teaching this curriculum to these students proves challenging and foreboding but this is merely a Bullshit excuse. As educators we must find a way to reach each student, it’s our god damn job. The deadline for a contract renewal rushes forth and I contemplate another revolution on this terrifying merry-go-round. Can I survive another year in Bhutan literally and emotionally? What would Jesus do? Probably take the first camel out of Phuentsholing to Nazareth cursing these heretics. What to do La?  I have the DESIRE to flee to the nearest hotdog stand. To partake in a four day rock n roll orgy concluding with a long soak in my mother’s hot tub. Or to order a pepperoni pizza from West Brooklyn and watch Seinfeld curled up on the couch. But my life is wide OPEN here. I am a part of a world on the fringe, a tightrope walker on a razorblade teetering over a lava pit. Why just tonight on the way home I fell into a muddy hole, landing softly in god’s furry pocket. Is this Tim’s bell or Tim’s hell, only time will tell! Stay tuned for the author’s antics and more choice mental ramblings right here on “tiger in a trance” sponsored by Coca Cola, the real thing!

(Victim or the Crime Interlude)
“Like him I’m tired of trying to heal, this tomcat heart with which I’m blessed”

If I could put one Bobby song in a time capsule to blast off to outer space for extraterrestrial discovery it would be “Victim.” The song suits Bobby’s style just exactly perfectly and showcases his stunning ability on guitar. This badass ballad is best performed acoustically with Rob Wasserman on the stand up bass, for a mixture that is the essence of my soul. An absolute balance of dark and light.

Part Two: The Wild Child Diaries, Lost in Space, an Earthquake at the Bardo Lounge, and another Wacky 
 Wednesday  

“We are all the same, all the same, Longing to find our way back; Back to the one, back to the only one” Rumi

I have dreams where I am being chased by Nazis and I don’t want to fight. Mare once advised me to turn around and face my attackers. To look them dead in the eye and ask what they want. In dreamtime as in waking life I am afraid to do this. But there comes a time when everyone must apprehend their demons. Then one can walk hand in hand with their neurosis in the form of trolls, gremlins, or vindictive gnomes. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. When I walk in the village at night the natives inquire “am I afraid of ghosts?” I reply “no, only myself!” But take away the narcissistic ego and we are all made of light. So the challenge is to detach from one’s self and serve mankind. Of course the tiger is an animal, and animals are ultimately concerned with their own survival. That’s the rub isn’t it? Look out for love in its pure unattached form. This force is where IT’s at. The breeze rustling through the treetops or a baby latched on its mother’s breast. Even a mean guitar solo. Working with kids gives unique insight into this phenomenon. Teaching teens is interesting as they traverse the adolescent bridge between childhood and adulthood, where ultimately innocence is lost. But can we recapture this state of being as grownups? Sometimes life is just too difficult and it’s easier to revert to being twelve. Fortunately we can get away with this in Bhutan.  In the midnight hour hunched over my keyboard, nursing a colortini, I wonder how all living things are connected. I can hear Zeke at his keyboard pounding out a soulful rendition of “My Home is on the Border” on a sultry New Orleans afternoon. But what does that have to do with lobsters and the bioluminescent creatures of the deep? We all swap matter like water in its holy cycle and eventually burn on the pyre and are recycled back into the sea, a reincarnation into the wash and maybe the bardo. That’s a romantic notion but really it’s all the same as nothing is ever destroyed or for that matter created. Maybe I’ll start a new religion known as Natural Atheism worshiping the reunification of flesh and bone into elements. If the author/ reporter can offer his two rupees, it’s to cherish each day and party on!     

I used to think of life and death in a linear sense. Like a timeline for a sixth grade Social Studied Class. But now it seems more circular like a wheel. Whether you believe in god or are an atheist, most agree we go back to the source. What one believes to be the source depends on the individual’s ideology. If one prescribes to Christian beliefs of heaven they know it must be getting overpopulated up there. Rent for the good clouds must be astronomical. Who fills the celestial ghettos, the poor? Or maybe the rich? After all god favors the meek. But even if you get prime real estate do you really want to linger on the scene forever telling the same old stories, stuck in your prime. Winning the jackpot every time and always getting laid. I like the turnstile mentality of the Buddhist faithful who mix it up in the “Bardo Lounge” before beaming out to a new body. This club would be a happening spot. Everyone on the dance floor would at one time have been your mother, sister, brother, father, lover, and enemy. How kinky! Spend enough time around people and you wonder, “how unique am I?” So much strife inbred into our species of thinking apes. As for our resolution, samsara seems like the movie Groundhogs Day with you starring as the Bill Murray Character. And fluffy cloud heaven seems like being banished to Disneyland for eternity. Mulch doesn’t seem to bad an option for the author.

 Back on the corner of Tawang and Tibet the weather is beginning to chill and clouds enshroud the mountains creating a silver haze in the valley. The campus is full of roses, dahlia, and other late bloomers. But the maize has fallen or turned gold and the valley floor is a bumpy olive carpet. Soon the landscape will return to barren brown. The student body is suffering from cough and cold and other than tummy aches I’m well. School is gearing up towards final exams and completing syllabuses.  As a novice teacher I have learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. I am proud of the work I’ve done but have many areas to improve on. Teaching large ESL classes can be a tricky business and hopefully this placement is making me a more dynamic teacher. Meanwhile I am excited for mom and Tyler to visit in December. We will spend a week in West Bhutan and a week in Thailand. But the best part will be the quality time together. I am fortunate to see them on Christmas and my birthday. But before then I have a ton to accomplish at Tsenkharla. September was a difficult month for the BCF family. Martha was well loved in Canada and from friends around the world. Her loss was a tragedy for so many people who depended on her spirit.  As anyone advances through life they inevitably confront the pain of losing loved ones to death. As I mentioned so long ago I can’t comprehend living on earth without my parents. How do people recover and carry on from such profound wounds. Even non Buddhist must recognize the impermanence of existence. We wonder what we can do with the time we have left.  

At midnight I was awoken by a rolling earthquake that felt like my bed was on the tea cup conveyer at Disneyland. It also woke up two ravens that cawed from a nearby nest and set the dogs to baying.  Teachers have been inquiring if I will stay another year followed immediately by “Can I have your heater when you go?” I was getting this question the first week in Tsenkharla. When people come over they seem more interested in my stuff then my story. I suppose this is understandable but annoying. I went to buy some coke and the shopkeeper was absent. I grabbed the cokes off the shelf and recorded my purchase in the ledger. She left a drawer full of money unattended as I waited five minutes before splitting. The weather today is partly cloudy and warm. The swollen river looks spectacular meandering around the bend from Tawang.  My students resemble penguins in their uniformed national dress and black shoes. Above a massive flock of Ravens swirl in the sky ever higher until they are black specs against a silver screen. One laggard sits on the top of a cypress tree. A quintessential Bhutanese scene with the national bird perched on the national tree. Paradise!
After eight months in East Bhutan I have come to terms with some basic truths. I am an outsider but maybe that’s a good thing to be. Hide and watch. My needy nature cries out for acceptance and external validation. But you won’t get that here. Here you must love yourself and serve the needs of your students. You are on your own.   

Once in awhile a teacher has a smooth day in the classroom where everything goes right. Today my students were both studious and enthusiastic. Even Leiki a hyperactive and hilarious class 7 girl stayed on task. In class 8 we are making comic strips for “In the Jaws of an Alligator” which they had a blast doing. It’s always rewarding when you see the learning process in action. Even the sun is shining stretching its loving rays over the Eastern Himalayas. It would take many lifetimes to explore the range that stretches from Arrunachal to Afghanistan. But I have found a special spot in Trashiyangtse, nestled between Tawang and Tibet.       
The Dragon Brocade

A bronze moon drifts between silver clouds
the jewel in the Jack of Diamonds rustic crown
his cobalt eye spies men dancing
and women weaving together
the threads of the dragon brocade
as crickets chirp a serene lullaby
for Sangay Dema and Cheki Choden
snuggled in their wooded beds
below a splattering of spiral light
luminous balls deposited at the edge
of an expanded universe
cast on the elastic border
of earth and heaven

*Sangay Dema and Cheki Choden are two adorable village girls.