Part 16: Red Hot Leather in Old
Rangthangwoon, Total Exasperation, “You gotta flip that shit!”
“People don’t know, people don’t care, that a man could be as poor as
me”
One funny
thing in the classroom is that the kids use the word shit. This is an
acceptable substitute for darn or oops. I try to explain it’s a profane word
and not to be uttered but it’s rather hilarious especially when mixed with
animated Sharshop. All part of this dream cartoon. I spent the day marking
essays that all proclaimed Bhutan as Shangri La. My favorite was the student
who wrote all tourists visiting Bhutan pray to be reborn as a Bhutanese in
their next life. Patriotism is rampant here as it was in Korea and is in the
U.S.A. But In Bhutan nationalism is born out of fearful necessity. The outside
world has historically been a threat to Bhutan with China looming over the
northern Himalayan peaks and big brother India lying to the South. All Bhutan has
to protect itself is its unique culture, which the kids wholeheartedly buy
into. So why am I here? Good question. I don’t always feel appreciated by the
administration and was reminded several times today not to roam next year, and
that I was carelessly wasting my money. I rebutted that if I was concerned with
money I wouldn’t have chosen Bhutan. It is frustrating to feel that my movement
is restricted as principal even suspiciously inquired where I go in the forest
with my pack in the evenings, and “joked” that if I didn’t spend my cash
roaming I could replace my tattered boots. Many BCF teachers bump up against
this stifling mentality and until Scotty complained we could barely get across
Chasm. BCF needs to be a better advocate for us teachers here on the frontier.
As volunteers we need to have freedom to connect with one another and see the
countryside. Your author is feeling cynical tonight and laughs remembering
Kendra’s warning over E Chat last year. Now I am the malcontent, tradeoffs. I
love Bhutan but it can be frustrating on many levels. Today walking up the road
as the breeze rustled through banana trees and poinsettia flowers my affection
for this land was again reaffirmed. I will never lust for a country in the same
way. It’s like making love to a goddess. We all have one lover who surpasses
the rest, fitting together like the pieces of a puzzle. But the culture which I
often appreciate sometimes oppresses me. Being immersed can make a body crazy.
Assimilation can be a bumpy awkward ride, much like the lover we try to forget.
At the center marking circus I ate a tiny red chili that sent me gasping for
air to the amusement of the Bhutanese staff. At the four hour staff dinner I
gnawed on peppery cow skin called “leather” while defending my monetary habits
and motivations to the group. On the way home through a pine scented forest the
stars twinkled far away as if viewed from the interior of a black hole. I sang
El Paso which seemed an appropriate choice for the moment. The character in
that song was suffering a bout of culture clash and paid with his life. In some
sense I have hit a wall at the end of the twilight zone. I question my choice
to renew but can’t imagine leaving these dear kids just yet. I have all but
abandoned my travel aspirations in the kingdom and will spend my vacation
outside the dragon gates. I came for one thing but am staying for another. Life
is tricky that way, isn’t it? At least I will be imprisoned on my mountain of
paradise, following in Tsangma’s ancient footprints. The village headman
vanished with my flimsy tent but I will order one stateside. As if you all
haven’t given me enough! I figure eventually I will move into the forest
fulltime. My door is brightened by boys a lot these days asking questions,
seeking test results, or company. They are my salvation but those who know me
know I cherish my privacy, Tradeoffs. Tonight my stomach is in knots and I miss
the comfort of my mom’s house and the salty air of the San Francisco Bay. It all
comes down to attitude. Your lost sailor has to flip his perspective according
to the Mare doctrine. Shift his perception five degrees starboard or port
navigating by the spiral light of Venus.
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